Why I refuse to socialize my homeschooling kids

Whenever someone finds out that we are a homeschooling family, the very first question they seem to ask is this, “What do you do for socialization?” It’s funny how just one small, simple question can make someone feel totally inadequate. For years, I would react to those six words as if I was standing face to face with a judge; needing to explain my way out of a crime that I didn’t commit.

At the time of this article, we are getting ready to enter our 10th year of homeschooling, and I still get asked this question more times than I can count; however, now, with a little more education myself, and a tiny bit more confidence, I have learned to answer back with one simple word, “Nothing,”  and that’s it. I stop there. I no longer feel the need to explain myself. To say that their reaction and the looks on their faces are priceless is an understatement.

Whenever someone asks this question about socialization, I immediately know that they are not familiar with the busyness of homeschooling. They have certainly not done their own homework on the subject. In addition, it is a question asked by those who also seem to not be familiar with what socialization really means.

According to vocabulary.com, socialization is “the act of adopting the behavior pattern of a surrounding culture”. Merriam-Webster defines it as “to teach (someone) to behave in a way that is acceptable in society”, and dictionary.com goes as far as to say that “to socialize is to make socialistic; establish or regulate according to the theories of socialism”. Now, go and research the word socialism used in the previous definition. The results will make you cringe.

I want to challenge my children to raise the bar of what is acceptable in society. Click To Tweet

I urge you to re-read and ponder upon the definitions in the previous paragraph and let them sink in a little.

With all of the controversy, chaos, and society approved role models that we have leading (or trying to lead) our country now, I find it very difficult to want to let others, whom I don’t even know, “train my child to act in a way that is acceptable to society”.

Furthermore, why should I allow others to define what I feel is acceptable to society? I want to challenge them to raise the bar of what is acceptable in society. I want my children to be better than that. I want them to be different than the role models that society has allowed and put into leadership. I want them to be trained to be exceptional, not acceptable – to be an exceptional leader, not an acceptable follower.

Character is the foundation of who our children are and their future. Click To Tweet

There are many reasons that we have chosen to homeschool our children, and considering that we are Jesus followers, you may be surprised of the reasons that did not make the list; however, if I had to sum up our reasons in just one word, that word would be character.

One of the greatest reasons that we have chosen this homeschooling path is to instill proper character in our children. I believe that character is the foundation of who we are, who our children are, and what their future will be. I believe this to be true for any child.

Society does not put a high enough standard on character. Every choice a person makes can be rooted back to character. Positive character and negative character, both, set the path for who we are and how we act. I want to make sure that I give my children every possible opportunity to build their positive character today for a positive future tomorrow. So for these reasons, I refuse to allow my children to be socialized by today’s social standards.

“If acquainting children with ridicule, rejection, physical threats, and the rigors of the pecking order is necessary to socialize our children, I recommend that we keep them ‘unsocialized’ for a little longer.” Dr. James Dobson, Bringing Up Boys

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